The Bitterness Behind The Sweet Chamomile Tea
by SaeSaedy
Summary: "Can't sleep?" "Yeah." Restless nights weren't as terrible as he thought it would be as it became a major night schedule at the 159th floor of Kane Co. Unmasked, nobody in the company, except Kane and his comrades, knew who he was nor his duty. Neither did the girl he often meet during those nights. One-shot (AU, One-sided!RedxJulie, implied mutual(?) Jukebox, may contain spoilers)


The bright wide range of colored artificial lights that shined from the ceilings of Motorcity compared to Detroit Deluxe's starry night that was said to be lights shining from millions of miles away, both had their differences but were equally beautiful. Nights past from staying in Detroit, contemplating whether it was the right choice to move out from Motorcity to live in Deluxe. Was he homesick? He certainly was. The explosion of vibrant colors from every location in Motorcity, the freedom where people weren't judge for their choice of living, the smell of fast food or homemade cooking lingering in the atmosphere, the life that satisfied and brought happiness to its people. Albeit, the burning fire to destroy Mike Chilton was enough to convince him to stay in Deluxe. After what _Mike Chilton had done_ to him, he lost _everything_ and _completely_ brought his life downhill. Besides, he barely had a proper place to stay in Motorcity.

The wide window screen from the 159th floor of Kane Co. displayed most of Deluxe city: the skyscrapers, the floating pods, the ground units, lights coming from the buildings. Dull, complex yet there was a sort of uniqueness about Deluxe that fascinated Red.

Red gazed the twinkled midnight sky, he felt himself softened. This definitely was the first time he has seen stars. 'So surreal, so many of them, unbelievable,' his mind voiced out. For a very long time, Red was in ease. Pushing any thoughts that came to his mind, all Red could do was be astounded by the sky's infinite beauty.

Sounds of footsteps echoed in the room, Red became alerted but his instincts told him to relax. A chamomile tea scent bloomed in the air as the footsteps came closer and closer. The presence of the maroon headed girl whom he thought was peculiar and suspicious to begin with, the apparent favorite intern of Kane's.

"Can't sleep?" Her soft enthusiastic voice suddenly rang to Red's ears.

"Yeah." Red muttered.

* * *

 _Julie._

From his day and night shifts, he would be: passing her from the hallways of Kane Co. as they gave their exchanged glances and small smiles, watching her small habits as she would giggle out of embarrassment after she would discover him watching her during working hours, the small conversations that converted to hours from their midnight chats, admiring her sincerest smile whether it was to her best friend or himself. The odd girl who he often saw in his daily life since he came to Kane Co.; her name was Julie.

Red's relationship with Julie was hidden from their co-workers, a secret that only both of them knew. Red felt their relationship was special, particular, different. Her presence, her existence, her company brought a desire to him. An unfamiliar, heart-clenching, frail yet a passionate feeling. It was far too strange for him to deal with, after all his revenge he bottled up for his enemy. How he yearned to touch her long maroon locks of hair, to watch her smile and laugh all day, to hold her as she slowly would fall into a slumber, to kiss-

' _How pathetic of you.'_ An inner voice echoed.

However, the complication between their relationship was that Julie didn't know who Red is. She didn't know Red's true purpose of working for Kane Co., in other words, if she knew, what would she think of him? Or, what would happen between them?

' _Monster.'_

' _Do you expect an innocent person like her would fall for someone so sinfully brutal?'_

 _Mike Chilton._

The said male unexpected appeared in front of Red during his working hours, after training against robots, bots and his co-workers on the high tech field. His body hardened and stayed in a state of paralyze. Nevertheless, he managed to face the sight of his enemy with eyes glaring with red fire, his rage rushed through his blood, gripping his hand gears as a large red spark flowed from the sleeves of his black and red suit to his knuckles, his fist slammed onto Mike's face as he screeched. His vision came back to him, realizing he had completely wrecked a robot with just one hit.

"What happened back there Red?" His blonde slick-backed haired partner, Jenzen, asked while he watched Red grunting while taking off his helmet as he flung it on the ground in the process, stomping his way to the exit, completely ignoring Jenzen.

* * *

 **MISSION CAPTURING MIKE CHILTON:** **FAILURE**

The large font letters hadn't left his mind. Laying on his bed like a tough lump of meat after finding out he hadn't have reached the capabilities to defeat Mike Chilton. And he was just right in front of him. Red had the advantage in terms of technology and power.

' _Nevertheless, you couldn't even do it…'_

 _Red stood there, waited for Kane's loud projected voice but only to hear him said, "You had so much potential, soldier." Although to Kane's disappointment, Kane couldn't blame Red. After all, Kane made numerous attempts to have Motorcity under his hands but equally failed. Albeit, he made his statement visible that he was deeply crestfallen. By the bar counter in his office, he gulped down his glass of whiskey, then poured the whiskey to another glass cup to offer Red. Whether or not Red had accepted the glass, it wasn't his choice to refuse it. It was quite rare for Kane to be patient that it was quite maddening. On the other hand, he dealt Tooley for more than year on a daily basis. "I gave you everything you needed. Do you think I would be elate to find out the person, who I found and have raised to the top in my academy, to fail a mission that I would expect you to have the upper advantage?"_

 _Knowing Kane's thin line between his patience and his temper, he had no response. He knew Kane wasn't finished yet. In one swig, Red forced down the alcohol down his throat, holding back from the intense alcohol burn in his throat to keep himself hushed. "One of the few things I like about you, you won't let failure to stop you from your goal. You don't show your weakness. You're off the charts than any of my soldiers, despite you've been here for half a year. Oddly enough, you're quite loyal to me…"_

 _To be honest, Red was afraid what Kane would do. The suspense in the atmosphere and soundproof walls and floors in Kane's office, had given Red so many signals that his situation could actually risk his life. Maintaining a calm, composed, motionless and emotionless figure in front of Kane was a difficult task for him. It was quite plausible for Kane to be aware of this but Kane knew Red was far powerful to let fear conquer himself, especially in front of high authority. Red never liked to be looked down upon anyway. One of his characteristics Kane admired about._

 _Kane hurled his glass a centimeter away from Red's cheek, only to see Red not flinching to the sudden thrown item in response. "I don't want to hear a word from you today. Get the fuck out of my office."_

' _You weakling.'_

Beating up the training bots with his swayed fists and kicks, the charge flowed through his arms as he then fought against the higher ranked robots, proceeding to match against his co-workers until Red was the last one standing. Training lasted 1 and a half hour straight without resting or a 5-minute break. To his co-workers' relief, Red announced a half hour break before arranging an advanced level training schedule. Red was still tensed up after the meeting with Kane so when Jenzen patted his shoulder, Red swiftly grabbed Jenzen's arm to flung him over. Jenzen being slammed on the floor, he scowled at Red. "Red, what the fuck are you thinking?! What's going on with you? I don't know what's going on and I don't give a damn if you tell me or not but you need to stop this shit." Groaning out of irritation, Red formerly sighed and apologized to Jenzen before parting to wherever there was to go for the next half hour.

* * *

A bare flawed face yet her natural beauty remained stunning, blew and sipped her hot chamomile tea for her restless nights. The pair sitting on the office table, the usual spot for their night gatherings. Red stared at his shared tea in the mug wrapped around by his right hand, making an attempt on understand her love for the flowery scented tea as well as getting rid of the stress he had to cope with from the past week.

"What made you like this tea so much?" Nearly burning her tongue from the liquid, gulping down her throat, she promptly let out an awkward chuckle.

"Well uh… Y'know I work a whole lot since I'm a tech worker and it gets tiring a lot. With the countless work I put into. I just. Can't get tired. Yeah." Murmuring out, holding back her stutters.

"Can't really sleep. Yeah." She mumbled.

Raising an eyebrow with his sarcastic mocking expression, wanting her to elaborate more. _Wow. That's obviously not what you wanted to say, isn't it?_ he could see her grin forming as if she knew his thoughts. Sighing, exhaling all her worries, she started speaking.

"I guess it does really help me relax. And I really do work a whole lot, more than what you expect. A close friend of mine knew how I wasn't really sleeping at much, I was working 24/7 during that time and well, he helped me to remove all my stress and for once, enjoy for myself. We did a lot of bizarre adventures with our other friends and at the end of day, when it was just the two of us who were awake, he took me to this hidden place… That was so breath-taking, it was indescribable… He poured me this tea that he said to be 'magical' with its 'healing powers'." Breaking off, she let out a snicker before continuing. "You should've seen how cynical I was. That was the first time I tried this perfumed tea. You can imagine how my impression was… Of the tea of course!" She gleefully giggled at the end with a specific look in her eyes, seeing her getting warmed up from the feeling while she sipped her tea again.

Envy for the boy who was loved by Julie, the loving look Julie has given left a bittersweet taste left in his mouth. How excruciating it was to know he didn't have the ability to make her feel that way. Drinking the now warmed tea, how funny it didn't relieve the ache.

"Julie…" He unconsciously touched her cheeks, letting his thumb stroke the apples of her cheeks her soft maroon hair twirled around his fingers. For a fleeting moment, her confused expression softened. The gaze in her eyes desired to acknowledge his actions, patiently waiting. Maybe it was Red's imaginary when he saw the possible tender glint appearing in her eyes. Mixed signals were processed, unable to understand himself. Hesitating his next move. Why did he feel this way? What were these collision of emotions?

' _What the fuck are you doing?'_

"You should go to sleep." Avoiding any thoughts popped into his mind, gradually letting all forces to move his hand away from her face, his hand sifted through her soft long locks of hair momentarily. "You don't want any of those eye bags again, would you?" Julie giggled to his sardonic tone as she stood up with her mug on hand. "Yeah, uhm, good night…" she replied before she walked away. The sound of her footsteps slowly faded away from the distance till not a single sound was in the room other than Red's breathing. Gawking the drink in his mug, gripping the mug tightly before breathing in deeply. Letting out his burning breath, he was seriously in deep remorse. Drinking his chamomile tea once more to ease his mental thoughts, how fortunate it was now for the tea to succeed relieving his pain.

' _How useless of you.'_

* * *

Not once it ever crossed his mind nor had he ever predicted it. The screen from Kane's office presented the pair, affectionately embracing each other as though they would be separated by the next second. He watched her putting a large amount of effort to withstand her tears flowing in her eyes, a feeble smile on her face as the heavily beaten boy comforted her.

The scene replayed all over in Red's head to torment and taunt him mentally.

" _Mike…"_

 _The quick smash of the keyboard screen beeped for every password denial, ignoring Mike's protests._

" _Julie, blowing your cover won't help me" Kicking the metal panel as the thud thundered the cell, Julie screamed with all her might, "WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL!"_

" _To watch your back… Look what that got into."_

' _Well, what can you do about it?'_

The struck of reality firmly slapped him hard on the face. _His enemy and the love of his life._ All these jumbled up emotions messed him up inside out. A large combination of fury, jealousy and misery as he felt his fingers dug in his gloves, clawing his cold sweated palms.

' _Are you still that oblivious?'_

Water forming around his eyes, his teeth piercing his lips, furrowed his eyebrows whilst staring the star-crossed couple. It was painfully conspicuous to know they indeed were in love with each other. A match perfect, despite their reputation.

' _Who would love someone like you? Hideous.'_

Feeling himself breathless, the walls abruptly coming closer to him, sweating and hyperventilating. His heart banging his chest, a thick solid in his throat which unable him to speak, dealing the nausea taking him over.

' _Huh, I guess ugly people, like you, have feelings. Revolting.'_

Surroundings went a blur, and the dead silence ringed his ears. The sound of his breathing were blocked out.

' _You're an outsider. You don't belong in her life.'_

" _Sometimes I think it's okay to be selfish." Red looked ahead to Julie from the office desk, who was standing close to the window screen to observe the bright floating pods of Detroit Deluxe. Confused while queried her statement, he responded with a reasoning question. "Things won't go in your own way and tragedy keeps building up by the time you keep neglecting your decisions. Even though it may have helped people around you, but you're only going to hurt yourself more. In the end, you're letting people control you and your life choices…" Twist was the sight of people in Deluxe sleeping in such gloomy, confined shelter with their rights limited due to the oppressive system of Detroit Deluxe. Red chuckled, walking to her to face her._

 _"Whoa, lil Miss 'I'm Kane's favorite intern' is questioning his methods," His derisive voice playfully jeering._

 _"Oh yeah, I very much enjoy waking up every morning to eat tasteless cubes." She replied, pouting then progressed to laughing._

Jolted at the small charming memory from one of the nights they spent flashed in his mind.

" _It's okay to be selfish."_

He mentally couldn't take it anymore. All his insecurities piled up for years had fallen.

He shrieked, releasing his manic anger he kept latched away, clump of tears rolled down his cheeks. Kicking Kane's office chair, sending the papers on Kane's desk flying around the room, crashing the coffee mug on the table before he completely wrecked Kane's office chair. Whines and whimpers of his sobbed voice, he fell down to his knees and cried his heart out, letting himself be attacked by his demons.

* * *

His eyes engrossed at the view of Deluxe, the stars were still glittering and singing in joy after such a gloomy ruined event. Red didn't think Mike would've been able to escape in one the tightest prison cell there is in the city of Deluxe. Red's emotions had made him reckless enough to let Mike Chilton flee. Again.

His body closed to the window screen, he involuntarily stared at his own reflection. His hand holding a mug of still steaming chamomile tea, the vapor from his tea formed a mist of cold glass screen, his reflection still remained visible. How expressionless and lifeless he was after when he was again painfully defeated by Mike using Red's own power against himself, and even after receiving a horrendous scolding from Kane. Unpredictably, not about his ruined office but how he foolishly made an opening for Mike's escape. He screwed up. _Again._

 _Just another failed mission._

Julie didn't come at this night. Which wasn't unusual since there were those nights where she didn't join him. Only now, he knew where she went on those night.

 _Julie._

Never did he ever considered regretting meeting her nor even to ever hate her. Why should he anyway? He knew he was in love with her. What was the point on hating her for an unrequited love he had with her when he knew if he would deny, he would end up in a ceaseless loop?

Supping his tea, the floral sweetness left the same bittersweet taste to his mouth; soothing his head yet bringing an unpleasant throbbing to his chest. His other hand touching the icy cold glass screen, thinking to himself.

' _If you knew what he had done, would you hate him?'_

Such a despondent question when he already knew the answer.

* * *

 **A/N: Do excuse me for the author's note but I'd like to thank you for taking your time to read my first fanfic! Please do leave a review because I'd love to know what you guys think :'D (I'm ready for the heavily criticized reviews *crawls into blanket*)** **I apologized if Red is OOC**


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